Milo May

There is a rather brilliant type of person called a ‘designer’. I am not one, which allows me all the more to admire those who are. One of my favourites is Georgie Hallam – an Australian who designs seamless knitting patterns. This month, Georgie decided to have an event on Ravelry: Milo May.  Just an opportunity for those of us who like  love her ‘Milo Vest‘ pattern to share what we knit during May.

I didn’t mean to get carried away. I really didn’t.  It’s now the 16th of May and I have knitted three. The fourth is on the needles. In my defence, three of them have been newborn-sized, which means really very cutely small.

The blue vest (above) is a merino/silk blend. Very shiny but soft. My teddy Rowfy has his eye on it. But it is too big for him.

This grey one will fit a 9-12 month-old. The yarn is a blend of Wool, Cashmere and Silk. (Yes, I did get a bit arty-farty, didn’t I?)

And this little pink sweetie just attracted the jelly-beans like some sort of sugary-pied-piper. We ate them afterwards.

Want to know how small the small ones are?  Here’s my lovely six-year-old holding a newborn-sized vest:

Awwww…

I probably should knit some for my own kids now. Although the one I knitted for my boy a year ago still fits…just.

Happy Milo May, everyone.

Mara

Bitterest feeling.

This day-job, this occupation, this vocation that I have allowed to be mine – motherhood – is so hard.

I gave up paid work to be a failure at this? This important, vital job that is somehow rendered otherwise in society’s harsher views? So, I’m crap at a dud job but I’m meant to be all fulfilled and happy because even though it’s a dud job it’s really very, very special?

I sit at the dinner table with my children. I have bolted my dinner. I was hungry and it’s partially a habit-hangover from when they were babies. (Quick, get some food in before the next interruption.)

I have taken up some crochet work. It is a way to keep my hands busy and my mind at least partially clear of my harrowing other-thoughts.

My husband, similarly finished his meal and equally frustrated with the slow progress of our tired small eaters, has picked up his guitar and is playing some children’s songs.

My jaw is hard-clenched and I am ready to snap. Fury may spit out of me if I am not careful. I am praying constantly, asking God to help me have self-control. Every sentence uttered is taught.

The truth is, I dislike the dinner table. Sometimes it’s not like this. But rarely. The majority of the time the kids are actually fairly well-behaved. It’s me that has the problem.

Depression and low-level anxiety have dogged me all day today. I am stuck. I had a migraine two days ago and I don’t really know what  has happened since then. I have reached new levels of frustration. And now I am ignoring my children while they get ready for bed. I am turning aside from writing every now and then, to ask for that pair of shorts that needs mending, to give them instructions about tomorrow. My husband is doing all the hard work. He is tired.

Last night he said – jokingly – that he wished he could ask the nanny to put the children to bed now.

Another truth is: our kids don’t need a nanny. They need me, and him. They need James to be less fatigued by carrying an almost-double load. They need me to be an adult and do my job.

At times like this the hopelessness can be overwhelming. All that gives me hope is that I have a God who is more than sufficient to make up for all my failings, all my lack. All the dudness and crappity.

So now I will go down the hallway and meet my son, dressed in his hand-me-down red fireman jarmies, and hug him and tell him I love him and that he should have a good sleep. And – actually – I do feel much better.

Makings

After my previous, slightly heavy post, I felt unable to write for a wee while. I had a lovely family holiday, celebrated my middle one’s 6th birthday with a mountain walk (her request), and now we are back home.

March and April have been busy with knitting and crochet projects as well. I thought I would post a few photos.

'Dots Yoke Vest' pattern by Ochiai Tokuko

This is my new vest, blocking. (The mini-dots are the pin-heads. I soak my knitted things for a few minutes in wool-wash and tepid water. I gently squeeze out excess water, then roll them in a towel. Having trodden on the roll to squeeze more water out, I lay them flat on a dry towel and pin them in place. Then I play the impatient game of waiting for them to dry completely.) I never used to block. But the first time I tried it I realised how much it could improve a knitted garment. So now I usually do. It’s more fun than ironing.

'Reversatile Cowl' pattern by Katie White

Not so with this item, though. This is a cowl I have knitted from some beautiful alpaca yarn my Mum and Dad brought me back from New Zealand. It is so soft that I cannot bear to take it off, so blocking will have to wait for another day.

'Granny Circle Cushion' pattern by Lollipop Tree Lane

This is a cushion made from New Zealand and Tasmanian yarns. Merino and Blue-Faced Leicester, if you care about that sort of detail! Again, the NZ yarns were a gift from my lovely parents, who often visit New Zealand to walk (or ‘tramp’) in the wilder areas. Dad has been blogging about their recent trip.

'Zeg Warmers' pattern by Georgie Hallam

These cute legs belong to my afore-mentioned birthday girl. The leg-warmers were part of her birthday present from me.

Original pattern by Lion Brand Yarn, adapted by me.

And here she is again, this time modelling some Cinderella Mitts we made for a friend’s birthday present.

'Panoramic Stole' pattern by Hannah Fettig

But the project I was busiest with was this stole I made for my grandmother’s birthday. It was my first lace pattern and I quickly learnt how easy it is to make mistakes with lace patterns – and how perilous.

The undoing-and-redoing process (tinking, ripping back, re-knitting) is terrifying and slow. This stole is two metres long, so of course it’s not without its mistakes. But the end result is still quite lovely. The yarn is a favourite – Madelinetosh Tosh Merino Light - ’Blackcurrant’. So soft, with the most wonderful colour variations that my iPod camera cannot do justice to.

So that’s some of what I’ve been up to. Along with gardening, and generally enjoying the fantastic autumn weather Tasmania is experiencing.

For the record, I did overindulge on hot-cross-buns. And chocolate. And I did give up alcohol for Lent, which means I am now very much revelling in my evening glass of Sauvignon Blanc.